Are you stuck in routine sex with a partner? Are you afraid to switch things up? If you want to make things that little bit more interesting in the bedroom, Laura Rojo Rosingana, Psychologist and Sexologist from the Príncipe Clinic in Vigo has a wealth of knowledge in this field and is here to shed some light on the matter.
Zankyou: How important is it to have a sex life?
Laura Rojo: Every relationship requires some sort of sex life. That doesn’t necessarily mean only experiencing physical pleasure, because it’s more than that. It’s about enjoying a deep level of intimacy together as a couple. Sometimes our busy schedules, stress and tiredness can get in the way of this. If this is the case, it’s time to prioritise and make sure that you still have time to be intimate with your partner. There are always things that can be put off until tomorrow, and sex shouldn’t be one of them.
Z: How can you get into the right mindset to enjoy getting intimate?
L: When it comes to enjoying sex as a couple, it’s very important to start off by exploring each other’s bodies. By doing this, you are learning to enjoy each other physically which will help get you into the right mood. It is also important to understand your own body so that you can let your partner know what you enjoy, which is what a fulfilling sex life is all about.
Z: Does that mean that you need to be able to be open and able to discuss things as a couple?
L: Yes, feeling comfortable speaking about sex without finding it tricky or awkward will definitely help. This is the best way to tell your partner what it is you enjoy most and what you don’t like so much. It can also help to talk about any fantasies you may have, and don’t be afraid to experiment with new techniques in the bedroom.
Z: For people who find it harder to talk so openly, what solution is there?
L: If you feel shy about talking about sex, you just need to come round to realising that there’s nothing to be afraid of. Try teasing your partner or perhaps do something to surprise them. Either of these things will immediately break the sense of routine, leaving more room to discuss what you could try next. Even though it may seem scary at first, just leave your fear to one side and go for it.
Z: What techniques are there for making sure sex doesn’t get boring?
L: The important thing is to try out new things and to be open-minded. For example, not all of the best sex is penetrative sex. Try holding out longer, concentrate on foreplay and really enjoy each other’s bodies. The key is to keep it new and exciting, and to not let yourselves lapse into a routine.
Z: A problem for a lot of people is lack of satisfaction. There is a certain pressure to finish, which in turn creates a lot of pressure. How can you confront this situation?
L:It’s important to realise that reaching orgasm is not always the sole aim in a sexual encounter. You should focus on enjoying the whole experience, not just the end. A lot of your enjoyment should stem from the sheer level of intimacy.
Are you ready to go back to experiencing what set your sex life on fire in the first place? Don’t place too much importance on sex itself in your relationship. Be natural and leave plenty of room for spontaneity. The spark will be back soon enough and that will amount to a new and vibrant relationship that will have you giddy and thirsty for more!