There are a number of often unspoken needs people have in order to to feel content in their relationship. We all like to think we know them, but there are some things that can go unconsidered. Here are 5 of the biggest…
1. A partner who listens to their problems rather than just trying to solve them
When your better half tells you about the latest work nightmare or talks through the issues their parents are having, instinct might tell people of the best intentions that they should jump in with suggested solutions. It’s not that that’s never helpful or wanted, but it’s crucial that you listen it out first. Often it’s a shoulder to cry on that’s wanted, the process of just running through the problem can serve as a way of working through it, so holding off on trying to solve the problem and encouraging them to unload can be a better option.
2. To be thanked for what they do for you on a daily basis
There are so many things your partner does for you, looking after your home or your kids with such regularity that it’s easy to forget how significant those contributions can be. To be thanked for doing these things, and often, serves as a reminder of the appreciation you have for them. It also makes it all feel a lot more worthwhile and less of a hassle for them to do in the first place!
3. Their partner to understand their needs
This is not just the type of awareness that involves remembering your anniversary or knowing occasional romantic gestures go a long way. It’s about having things that matter to them at the forefront of your own mind. Maybe they’ve had a major meeting at work that they’ve been dreading for weeks so you ask about how it went at the first opportunity; your remembering and acting sensitively in response without prompting means an awful lot. It reaffirms how important they are to you and how much you are there to support them.
4. For them to help with the kids without having to be asked
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The trigonometry assignment that’s driven your eldest to despair is going to need some parental input. If you take the initiative to be the one to get involved, it means you show your other half that you are happy to do your bit and saves them from either carrying too much of a burden alone or feeling forced into that thing they desperately don’t want to be; someone who nags. What’s more, being a well engaged parent can melt your partner’s heart, we’re hardwired to find good parenting material attractive after all.
5. To be made to feel it’s okay to be less than perfect
Nobody should be a greater champion of your partner than you are. Nobody is perfect, so not only should we let them know it’s fine to be imperfect, but make it clear that their off day hasn’t stopped us thinking they’re amazing. Cutting your other half a bit of slack when things have gone awry demonstrates you are on their side and believe in them regardless. The boost that validation can give is enormous.
Being a supportive partner is part of the successful marriage formula. It’s a no brainer really, by fulfilling each other’s needs your relationship will be happier and stronger. You may not realise the things your partner needs from you, in our experience the key is communication and littering every sentence you can with ‘I love you’.
Check out our advice on building and maintaing a positive relationship for more relationship top tips!