Each couple and their compounds are unique because each of us define love differently and we all have our own specific needs and expectations from our partner. We know couples where the two are completely different from each other, but for them that is the greatest attraction. There are times when two people have almost identical temperaments, personality traits and behaviour, thus understanding each other almost without words, especially after the wedding.
Regardless of what happens during the development of the relationship between two people, sooner or later it is inevitable that there will be a conflict. The sooner we realise that misunderstandings, disagreements and quarrels are a natural part of a relationship, the easier it will be to get through them and to understand there is more to gain than to lose. Such an attitude however, adds up to some very important universal rules which should be followed by everyone, for a greater, happier life and relationship.
1. Accept your partner as they are and do not expect them to change.
Love is also responsible for decisions. If you have decided that you want to be with someone for better and for worse and not be pressured or influenced, then you accept your partner ‘warts and all.’
You also want to be accepted with your quirks and habits, so you should do the same in return.
2. Be understanding with your partner during a crisis
In a relationship, understanding your partner and their specific ways is one of the most important things, whether they are just having a bad day or going through a crisis. If you have a partner experiencing a crisis, helping them is a process that requires patience, acceptance and time. Therefore also be ready to show support and understanding during the worst moments.
3. Love your partner constantly and work on building connections all the time
A well-known author Tadeusz Niwińskiego tells us that during one of his workshops, a participant approached him and said he had a problem – He felt he loved his wife less than before, and feared that soon would not love her at all. “Well, then do everything to love her harder!” Tadeusz replied. If you have decided to be with someone, you must do everything to nurture and work to have those feelings again. It will never be the same again, we are changing, times are changing, our perspectives are changing, but it’s still not an excuse to abandon the marriage. You chose your partner and they in return chose you from millions of other people, and each of you are equally responsible for ensuring that the relationship works.
4. Do not judge or compare your partner to your ex-partner
If a partner decides to tell you about their secrets, which they are probably not proud of, then make sure you listen and are sympathetic and understanding, putting yourself in their shoes. If they tell you about them, it’s so that we better understand them and for them to let us know what they are like and with who we are with. If you accept a mistake or failure of a partner, you should not judge them for it in the future. When someone confides in us, it is a lack of respect and the mark of an unsteady person that then tries to use it against them.
Of course, it is easy to write about relationships, give advice and talk about them. However, you can’t change the fact that our perception of a good marriage or relationship is still distorted by films, books or consumer environment. Don’t go crazy with over thinking and making up illusions, unless you want to give a reason for one of you to start considering divorce.
So, remember that when you meet someone, start dating and things are naturally taking the next step and you are considering a long and happy future together, be sure to think about each other and your personalities. There will come lots of trials and tests that you will need to deal with together and be strong for. It will only be then that the relationship and your tolerance of one another will show, so make it work! We are lucky enough to choose who we are with and who we love so choose wisely and be happy.
Hopefully these tips will inspire you to work towards a strong and healthy relationship together with your SO. Being able to love someone without boundaries is a privilege that many don’t have, so make the most of it if you are able. A stable relationship is like anything living – it needs certain elements to grow and dedication from both parties to make that happen. So take these tips into consideration and let your love flourish!