Perhaps it’s what you want to hear, or just to avoid a sticky situation, but men have mastered the art of fibbing and thye use this skill when you least expect it. There are ten trusty lies we use as women, and so do men! So, in case you don’t already know what we are referring to, here are ten of the most traditional tales that men tell:
1) “You are beautiful whatever you wear.”
If we wear a tracksuit, we know we do not feel as ‘beautiful’ as when we wear a dress. We all know that! Why would you want us to believe that anyway? Do you think telling us we are pretty in everything is going to win you some brownie points? They won’t, and we don’t expect them to understand why it annoys us because they can’t appreciate the countless hours we spend in front of the mirror yet they are lucky enough to through some gel in their hair, get dressed and spray some aftershave… Men!
2) “I didn’t look at that woman.”
An obvious fib told, which us woman are also guilty of doing but are happy to admit it! You don’t need to deny it because we do it too and we know that you did actually do look at her, so lying just makes the act x10 worse. We also don’t trust your Whatsapp groups either!
3) “But it’s clean” “I’ve already cleaned it” “I’ll do it in a minute….”
These are many forms of refusal to clean. It also appears in the form of, “I’m making the bed now”, “I’ll do the dishes now” or “I am picking my socks up off the floor now.” So girls, if you didn’t already know it, heres a little warning, for our marvellous men, for them “now” generally means “never.” Do not expect too much because they will not deliver in the way or when you want.
4) “One last drink and I’m coming” “one for the road” “back soon” “one more beer….”
It’s like you can’t tell the time and in the end you’re at least a little late. Here you are using your imagination as well as your repertoire of fibs! We are no longer falling for it, so tell us the truth if you dare and reap the consequences!
5) “You’re not fat, you’re fantastic”
We know what we are and that your only goal is to prevent us from getting angry and that is exactly what bothers us. We also know we have a spare kilo or two and we don’t always want to hear that we are “fantastic” the truth is what we need to hear and best coming from the one we love, not loathe.
6) “You’re prettier without makeup”
Guys, listen up, mirrors don’t lie. And we look a lot so we know full well that make up, brushed hair and a nice outfit is far prettier than our birthday suit. So for those who didn’t know, that type of lie really annoys us.
7) “I’ll call you later”
This could take hours or even days. Most men do not remember and are not interested in the details, which are of vital importance to us. So when you get a “so I’ll call you” you’d be better off taking the initiative and picking up the phone yourself.
8) “I’m not drunk”
Another standard phrase used when men are definitely drunk. Do you not realise that we are sober and can see exactly what you are doing? You are trying to convince us you’re not drunk, when we can smell your alcohol breath miles away, is absurd. At least be honest and humble and that way you may even be forgiven!
9) “I don’t mind, you choose” “whatever you want”
All that happens in this situation is all they do is complain about our choice. “Where do you want to go?” “Wherever you want”. Why are you then complaining that you’ve basically decided to spend the afternoon at the mall doing last minute shopping?
“The wedding is our event. My mother has no say”
In theory it is great that you have thought to tell us this but the practice never follows through! Why does the mother of the groom always have to stick her nose into every detail of the wedding plans? Dear sons, control your mothers!
So you see, switch up the lies and be more creative because we can sniff them out a mile off!